Thursday 4 April 2013

#89 Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever (2002) (Colin)

If there is one thing I can not stand, it is video game tie ins with films. Usually a games company will have a ton of generic platform games all ready to put a movie 'skin' onto. So if Warner wanted a video game to tie in with the new Harry Potter film, they'd ask someone like Eidos to produce one for them. Eidos would pull out generic platform game number 5, make the characters of the game resemble the characters off the film, then knock off early for a spiff and kit kat.

This may explain why these games are normally linear and a one dimensional load of drivel. Without doubt the worse games I've ever played were movie tie ins, (eg, Beowulf or The Fantastic Four) and they act only as a means to earning more money for the movie studio. That is, except for Ecks vs Sever.

I mention the whole movie / video game tie in thing, because before Ecks vs Sever the movie was released, Ecks vs Sever the game was released on Game Boy Advance. Based on a early script of the film, it was a first person shooter which looked and played like the original Doom game. It enjoyed critical success and from reviews I've read, was a really good game. After the movie was released a sequel to the GBA game was also released and again was well received, unlike the movie.

So we appear to have one of the only video games which was produced to tie in with a movie, that was actually rather good. Even more strangely the movie has been slated and if you believe the reviews, is inferior to its video game counterpart. I've not played the game, but I continue the hunt for a copy and I will revisit this blog and review once I've played it. But for now I think the critics have been way too harsh and I'll tell you why.



Plot: Thin though it may be, there is a plot!

Former Defense Intelligent Agent, Sever, (Lucy Liu), kidnaps current DIA director, Robert Gant's, (Greg Henry), son, Michael after discovering Gant, who has turned rogue, has injected a nanobot assassin into Micheal's arm to smuggle into the country, (she also dresses him as Marty McFly from Back to the Future, but this is never explained why). Sever would quite like this nanobot, not sure why, maybe she collects them. Former FBI agent, Ecks, (Banderas), is brought in to track down Sever and they become bitter enemies.

During the film we discover Michael is actually Ecks' son and that Gant is now married to Eck's wife. Both Eck and his wife think each other is dead after Gant staged their deaths with a car bomb. Sever's husband and son were also killed, we learn, after a botched mission by Gant. Ecks and Sever then realise that Gant has destroyed both their lives and unite to bring him down.

Obviously they succeed, this is Hollywood after all and the nanobot is recovered and destroyed via a bullet to Gant's arm which contains said nanobot which Ecks presses a button, destroying nanobot and Gant. Phew!

Oh, and along the way, there are one or two explosions.


Verdict: If you are looking for an unique cinematic experience or a film which examines taboos and constantly pushes the boundaries in morality and taste or a cerebrally challenging movie, then this film is probably not for you. If you like guns, explosions and Lucy Liu in a tight black number, then we might have found your new favourite movie!

This film is an out and out action movie and that's it. Plot is thin, dialogue is kept to a bare minimum and every minute is packed with, well, action. It's a Ronseal movie and does what it says on the tin.

The movie is directed by Kaos, which sounds wanky, (it is), but is actually the directors real name, (Wych Kaosayananda), shortened. He obviously knew what he was doing and how this will sound, but fair play, it does slap you in the face with a clue to what sort of movie this will be. A Choatic, (in action, not storyline) film!

The action never stops. It is relentless and if it moves it's either shot at or blown up. If it doesn't move it's either shot at or blown up. I re-read my notes from the first 5 minutes of the movie, (Another explosion, smoking, explosion, drinking, explosion, slow motion walking, another explosion), and it pretty much carries on like this throughout the movie. The pace is fast, loud and over the top.


Banderas is ok in the lead role. He looks the part, grits his teeth in the right places and nearly convinces me he is upset at losing his wife. Or his favourite gun. I can't remember which. He does have a tendency to whisper though and I frantically had to keep turning the volume up so I could hear him and not miss the plot, (luckily there was no plot to miss). I did have to turn the volume back down pretty sharpish though as within 30 second there was another loud explosion!

Liu is equally as good and does her best to do what she was paid to do. Try to look sexy, mean and fire a lot of guns. She must have read the script, looked at her pay check and laughed so hard, she may have done a little wee. This is because she barely says anything throughout the entire movie. I can only think of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2 who was paid more and spoke less.

One of my favourite parts involves Liu spending 5 solid minutes just constantly firing guns. As each weapon runs out of bullets, she upgrades and upgrades until she is firing a vehicle mounted machine gun, again for what seems like forever. Now, I wasn't counting the amount of bullets fired, but my conservative estimate would be around 1 million. Total kills was easier to count at just one! Her kill to bullets fired ratio is very poor and she has successfully knocked The A Team off the top spot for lack of dead bodies vs ammo fired!

The ending is in keeping with the rest of the movie and reaches a real crash bang wallop finale. There is some hand to hand combat which reminds me of The Matrix, but unfortunately The Matrix Revolutions. Ultimately though, the bad guy gets killed, Ecks and Sever make peace and several pyrotechnic shop owners in LA take early retirement and move to the Bahamas.


So as you can probably tell, I actually liked the movie, which brings me back to the critics.  I do think they were being harsh, sure the plot is thinner than own brand paint, the acting will not win Oscars and overall, it's just a bunch of meaningless explosions strung together, but I think they miss the point and the point is this is supposed to be just a bit of fun. Sometimes we all need a movie to sit down with a lager and a pizza to, with the sole intention of switching the old grey matter off and watching things go BOOM!  It's entertainment and that is all this movie is meant to be and actually, it's pretty good at it. As for the overall video game / film tie in thing, I've a feeling this topic will feature again fairly soon......

Summary: Basically if your movie's dialogue is shite, the actors are average and the plot is non existent, then chuck in a load of explosions and the audience will watch whatever shit you produce.  Well, that's Kaos theory.

Scores:
Plot 0/10
Explosions 10/10
Overall 7/10 - I rather liked this, although the movie should probably have had a straight to hangover release.


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